One month into 2012, I have grown rather complacent with the way things are going. Work is slower, though I had reduced hours anyway due to my ailments, but I am getting to the point where money is getting too tight for my comfort and must think about other options. Therefore I will probably be looking for new work, or another job, or some kind of changes at my current job, whether that means going to dayside, transferring, or whatever I need to do to make some more money.
I am getting concerned, I am losing my insurance due to having less hours than the average they want for me to be allowed to keep it. So... no idea how I am going to pay for cataract surgery on my left eye. Not sure what I am going to do. A friend suggested I get some medical assistance from the state, though I have never had to do this and really am unsure how to do it. If it is even possible for me. Though considering I am losing sight in my left eye and there is no guarantee that I won't in my right eye, I am a bit scared. Something must be done...
I am getting older as well, the physical nature of my job is starting to take a toll, though I am doing ok and can still work alright, it's not going to be something I can just keep doing forever. So I have to find something else. I have to try to do something else. Unfortunately in my life things haven't gone the way I had planned and therefore career is a word that I really don't have. I have a job, I don't have a career. I have done many types of jobs and have many years experience in many fields, just nothing in one field that can sustain me for life. Would be nice. The American dream as it seems isn't as rosy.
Much soul searching I must do. I thought about doing some voice over work somehow, I do have the voice for it, but really don't know how to go about getting education or work in that field. Something I suppose I should research. Rather lost...
It is tough battling what I battle, depression messes with me mentally, gout and arthritis mess with me physically, so yeah, you can imagine how difficult it is to remain motivated when you have those going against you even being on medication. I do the best I can with what I have, but right now the best isn't appearing to be good enough. So... again... something must be done.
Anyway, I assure you that I am alright. I just need to make some changes in my life, in my heart, in my mind... no this does not involve religion, this just involves me. Please, no religious speeches in response to this. Those of you who read this know how I feel about religion, not a big fan and certainly not a fan of those that believe they should preach to me. I just need my friends to remain my friends and be supportive with their care, and positive reinforcement.
Until next time...
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